“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere”
― Belle, Beauty and the Beast (1991)
Ever felt nostalgic for places you’ve never been? I do, all the time. I’m 20 years old and the farthest I’ve ever been from my home state is right next door, Mississippi.
I was scrolling down Instagram and it hit me that I’m going to be 21 in less than two months. I’ve hardly been anywhere or experienced much of anything. I live only 45 minutes away from my hometown. This. . . is not where I had invisioned myself two years ago after my high school graduation. I’d wanted to attend college out of state. I wanted to travel, experience a white Christmas, see mountains for the first time, leave the country, fall in love with a foreigner. I’m probably going to write a bucket list for my next post.
I just feel like I’m in a rut. I’m in my early twenties and they’re supposed to be best years of my life and I feel like my life is unbelievably boring. I get more excitement out of reading romance novels.
I’m in the process of changing jobs. I want my own place more than ever but I was recently tempted by the idea of moving to Texas, where my mom resides. She was all for it, until it occurred to her that I’m financially incapable of getting my own place just yet. I’d have to live with her in the meantime. Suddenly, she couldn’t find enough excuses for why I should stay at my current University in this little town. I won’t stay where I’m unwanted, something Batman still hasn’t grasped. Nothing could make me more miserable than feeling as if I’m not wanted or welcomed. I had plenty of that while living with my mom.
For now, I just have to bide my time. Acquire a job that will provide me with the funds to secure my own place. Build up my savings so that I can take any adventure I want. Graduate in two years or attempt to transfer somewhere more exciting. I’d once said I didn’t like the unknown, who does? But. . . . it also possess an element of excitement, something that I’ve been feeling is missing of late. To quote Belle, “I want adventure in the great wide somewhere.”