Begin again

“Hard is trying to rebuild yourself, piece by piece, with no instruction book, and no clue as to where all the important bits are supposed to go.”

― Nick Hornby

Well, once again I’ve scrapped my portfolio and I’m re-doing it. Batman and I went to see Fifty Shades Darker today. It was. . . . long. It felt longer than the first film. I liked it, kinda. I really liked whomever picked out Dakota’s outfits in that movie. They looked really lovely on her.

I’ve decided to actually start working out again. I’m going to start a routine. This yoga class I took on campus helped rid me of my fear of working out alone.

I feel like my temper has been short lately. I think I’ve been raising my voice at Batman more than, well, ever. I rarely yell at him. I don’t know what it is. I do love him, though. I know he really didn’t want to go see that movie and it meant a lot to me that he did. Of course, he hated the movie. I’m excited for the third film.

I’m also excited about the idea of actually finishing my portfolio. I think I’ve got a design I’m going to stick with and thats within my skill range. I’m settling. But it will look nice and will make people want to hire me. I’ve even got a real-world client. A friend of a friend has a clothing line and they want me to design their website for them. I’m excited for that. I’m going to get paid for it to! Life. . . is getting better.

Amateur

“Valentine’s Day is the poet’s holiday.”

― Ted Kooser

What’s an amateur web developer to do?

I’ve been working on creating my own online portfolio for a few weeks now. And I’m frustrated at myself. I’m frustrated at my lack of skills, experience, and knowledge. The design I truly want for my portfolio, I can’t create it. I don’t have the knowledge, experience, or skillset to do it. I don’t want to use a template or hire a professional. I’m supposed to be the professional and I don’t want someone else to do the work for me. I’m not even too fond of using a framework but Bootstrap is pretty cool.

I don’t know how I’m going to get an internship or job after graduation.

Oh, yeah! It’s Valentine’s Day. Happy Valentine’s Day!

P.S. A clip of my portfolio in progress is attached. It’s so not what I was going for.

Adult Stuff

“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”

― Dr. Seuss

Well, I just sunk myself $15oo in debt by purchasing a new laptop. Here’s to hoping my tax refund gets deposited this month and is the same amount that I was informed it would be.

Adulting. That’s what I think I’m doing. I filed my taxes for the first time. I bought something that I needed, even though I splurged a “little” on it. I’m once again searching for a new job. My current job isn’t providing me with adequate hours to pay my bills. The location  is perfect, though. It’s about four or five minutes from Batman’s house. Not sure I ever came right out and said it but we live together, have been since August, I believe.

Things are different this time around for us. Ever since we started “living together”, there’s been this undercurrent of seriousness, as if we’re both fully aware that this time around may be the last time around for us. But we’re holding on. We’ve certainly outlasted our previous periods of on-again off-again.

Hopefully, this adulting stuff gets easier with time. If not. . . I don’t think anyone ever said being an adult was easy.