“Apparently I lack some particular perversion which today’s employer is seeking. ”
― John Kennedy Toole
I’m starting to wonder if in fact I did indeed choose the correct field to work in. Or if I’m doing something wrong. I’m in my sophomore year and shit is getting real. I’m working on my first project, which I will have to present at midterms and finals to my professor and representatives from actual potential employers. I’m working on a resume in another class and researching internships to possibly apply for. I’m dipping my toes in the field that I could potentially be apart of after graduation. And I’m scared.
I feel. . . ignorant. As if what I know isn’t enough. I feel that in comparison to the real professionals, I don’t know anything and I’m terrible at what I do. I feel UNQUALIFIED. That’s the word I’ve been searching for. I don’t feel qualified or intelligent enough to do what my professors or future employers are expecting of me. Like how some people love to sing but can’t? I love programming but I’m not sure I’m good at it and my level of expertise is lacking in comparison to some of my colleagues that are in the same year as me.
Maybe I’m simply not confident enough. Maybe that’s okay for someone that’s only in their third semester of college. Maybe.