Personal

Delusions 

“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” 

— Amy Bloom

I try not to worry about my relationship with Batman too much. It’s flawed, imperfect, and I wouldn’t  want it any other way.

Occasionally, the uncertainty bothers me. For instance, I had dinner with his dad for Thanksgiving. I think meeting his parents is an indication of something serious. However, at his uncle’s wedding-which I did not attend-his dad “encouraged” him to “go after” another woman. He didn’t. But the reason his dad thought it was acceptable to do that is because he’s under the impression that Batman is single, that there is nothing serious between us.

That bothered me. I felt like I was justified in getting upset. Where did his dad get that impression? From his son, obviously.

I love Batman. I do. And he loves me. But. . .  Sometimes I wonder if I love him more than he loves me. I wonder if I’m completely delusional and seeing something serious where there isn’t. We practically live together. I’ve met both sets of his parents. I’ve celebrated various holidays with both. Am I crazy? Am I imagining a relationship where there is none?

I don’t know. And that bothers me. I’ve already established on several occasions that I dislike uncertainty, the unknown. But being in love makes me feel as if I’m going crazy.

“We are flawed creatures, all of us. Some of us think that means we should fix our flaws. But get rid of my flaws and there would be no one left.”

— Sarah Vowell

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