Personal

Alone

“There is a certain strength in being alone.”

― Heather Duffy Stone

I both love and hate being alone. I feel like. . .  I’ve reached this crucial point in getting over Batman. In the past, every time I approached that precipice of rediscovering life without him, I’d be drawn right back to him. Now. . . I’m reliving every memory, every moment we spent together and it’s painful but it’s also healing. It’s almost as if I’m somehow purging him from me by reveling in memories of him. I’m embracing the pain. Before, I had tried to ignore it, bury it, or minimize it. I’m embracing it now.

I feel like I’ve lost quite a few friends of late. And I have. People rarely stay in touch after graduating high school. I had a small circle to begin with but having it reduced to none. .. . it makes me feel isolated.

Superman. . . . is moving on, whatever that means. It’s the only way I can describe it. I feel like our “friendship” is slipping away. I’m okay with that. I really don’t feel like I have any role in his life. I wish him the best of luck with. . . Harley. He seems to be going through women at an alarming rate. Right now, I think he’s infatuated, though he claims he’s falling for her. I don’t see that ending well but I’ll keep my opinion to myself and attempt to be supportive. His. . . struggles with his emotions make me slightly relieved to be newly single. I know all too well the confusion and excitement of a budding romance. It gets old fast. I’m glad to be off that roller-coaster.

Being alone gives me plenty of time to think and analyze myself and my emotions. I sort of missed that. Right now, my mind is slightly calm. I enjoy this moment, this time, this space I’m in. That elusive peace has descended and my thinking is clear. It won’t last long. My emotions are a roller-coaster without the added complication of a relationship.

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